What is All By Our Shelves?
Fascinating fictional families + true confessions about solo parenthood, from a bookish mother of two.
Not totally sure if All By Our Shelves is right for your inbox? Check to see how many of the following four statements apply.
1. You love books about families.
I’m thinking of this substack as a ‘reading club’ rather than ‘book club’ . To me, ‘book club’ means a group of people who read and discuss one book a month. While I would dearly love to launch this sort of club in future, I’m not asking you to make that sort of commitment right now.
For now, I’d like to connect with my fellow readers by recommending three great books every other week, chosen on a theme (not by an algorithm). At least one of the three will feature a one-parent family, and sometimes all three will. From time to time, I may also feature some shorter forms of reading material, such as articles and interviews.
2. You are a solo parent. (Or not.)
I chose the word ‘solo’ for three reasons. First, because I hate the word ‘single’—it makes me think of dating and processed cheese slices—and I’m honestly not sure which is less appealing to me right now.
I prefer the word ‘solo’ because its connotations are more positive and even awe-inspiring (think: flying solo, solo violin) but also, because it doesn’t imply anything about your marital status. If you spend significant amounts of time caring for children without a partner, you’re a solo parent, in my book.
All the details of how you came to be a solo parent are irrelevant, in terms of your ‘membership’ in this reading club—but they sure are interesting, and I hope you’ll share them. (I’ll go first. I was once married to the father of my two daughters. They couldn’t have asked for a better dad. He died in 2018, and I’ve been parenting solo since then).
If you’re not a solo parent, but are drawn to stories about families and solo parenthood for another reason entirely, please know you’re just as welcome. The more readers, the merrier.
3. You want to meet readers like (and unlike!) you.
I’m not a joiner, myself—the last club I joined was the Girl Guides, in the 80s, at my mother’s insistence—but I’m calling this Substack a club because sometimes being the only adult in the house gets a bit lonely, even for a hard-core introvert like me. Some days it is almost unbearably so, because one of my daughters is a tween, and no longer thinks I hoist the sun up every morning. (At least her little sister still thinks so, but she’s almost nine—I know my days are numbered.) But enough about me!
If you’ve read all the way to bottom of this post and want to subscribe, welcome! Please introduce yourself in the comments. Of course, you don’t have to give us your life story if you don’t want to—but please do tell us the title of the last story you read and loved.
I’ll go first: Clock Dance, by Anne Tyler. I couldn’t put it down, and will definitely feature it in an upcoming post.
What is All By Our Shelves?
Rosalynn, I'm going back to read some of your early posts. I was a solo parent years ago when I divorced my children's father. I am also an only child and considering that my mother lived to the age of 99, I came to feel as if I was solo parenting her as well. It can be a daunting job. My children are now adults and I find solace in knowing I did the best I could, regardless of how many times I felt I could have done better. My son reminisces about the house we moved to, just the three of us, saying that was his favorite house growing up. I can't tell you how much that means to me all these years later. Keep the faith, stay strong, and trust yourself. I am looking forward to reading some of your recommendations. 💟
My name is Sherri and I am a ‘half time’ solo parent to 2 school aged kids. I say half time because I’m recently divorced (2 years ago), and they spend the other half with their dad.
Daughters of the Deer by Danielle Daniel is the last book I read and I really liked it too.